Executive Coach, Lifelong learner, Dad, Bass player, Outdoor Enthusiast, Former Apple Worldwide Director of Finance.
[DSD] Do you tolerate more than you should?
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Alex feels pushed around by people with big egos. He’s normally confident, outspoken, and an effective communicator. But when faced with someone who doesn’t listen, and is sharp and short, Alex backs down. There’s one particular person that is a challenge for Alex. The CEO. He’s the kind of quick talking, very smart, arrogant person… bordering on rude. Alex has even seen the CEO snap his fingers & tell others to “shut up”. In recounting this story to me, Alex told me something interesting. He said: I would never tolerate that. Others accept it, so the CEO acts that way with them. But with Alex, the CEO doesn’t do it. That pattern raised an interesting question. What if Alex didn’t tolerate the short, sharp style the CEO often uses? We all have a threshold of what we’ll accept. When someone goes beyond the threshold, we push back. Alex clearly had that threshold. Being told to shut up was not acceptable, but the normal short/sharp communication was. What if he reset his threshold? We didn’t have to spell out the specific actions to take. With a new mindset — a lower threshold — Alex knew intuitively what to do. You get from others what you’ll accept from them. If you want a change, it starts with you. To your powerful leadership voice, P.S. My sabbatical starts in a few weeks. Reply with a question you’d like to have answered in one of the final weekly Do Something Different emails. |
Rusty Gaillard
Executive Coach, Lifelong learner, Dad, Bass player, Outdoor Enthusiast, Former Apple Worldwide Director of Finance.
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